Alrighty...some Mom confessions today...
First, yesterday, as I mentioned, was picture day. Violet was very excited, of course.
We were also, as I mentioned, in a hurry and were quickly snapping a couple of photos while we were waiting for Henry to get his shoes on, etc. After I got a few pictures I helped Violet put on her sweater because it was chilly out...
And then casually (or so it felt casual to me) said, "Don't forget to take off you sweater for pictures"... because I thought that, while the sweater looked cute, it might look too bunched up and cluttered with all of the buttons in the photo. Plus, honestly, I thought that she would get too warm wearing her sweater.
Cut to after school...
Violet's teacher told me that Violet looked beautiful for her pictures and that her hair was nicely done, etc, etc. but then, when they got back to the classroom she became upset because she forgot to take off her sweater. She proceeded to tell her teacher that I had made her the dress for picture day and that I wanted her to take off her sweater for the photo. Melt down. Her teacher is super sweet and oh so nice and was able to get Violet squeezed in for another picture sans sweater by the photographer. "Crisis" averted.
Except that it wasn't, not for me. Blech! I felt like such a terrible mama at that moment. Sure, sure, it's a funny story, in hindsight (sort of) and now she'll always have that to look back on hold over my head, just like I remember my mom making me wear a tie for school pictures one year. But man, it made me feel bad. I gave Violet a hug and then held her hand as we walked home. I told her that I really didn't care. And, that I would never be upset about something like that. That the only reason I would ever be upset with her was if she had done something wrong or bad. That I don't really care what she wears. That the sweater looked great with her outfit! And, that I totally understood that she forgot. I told her that I understand that she has lots going on at school and that it's hard to remember everything, especially when the routine is changed around (as in picture day). And that we all forget things! And then I tickled her to make her giggle and hugged her again and then she chased Henry and I home.
Alright, so happy ending...But it made me realize that, as a five year old, she really is becoming so grown up and that I, perhaps, need to be more careful with the way I word things nowadays, because she takes things quite seriously and because she always wants to please everyone. I know where she is coming from as I never wanted to disappoint anyone growing up and have felt "grown up" for longer than I have actually been a grown up. And so, our similarities continue and I need to be mindful of them.
Next mom confession...
I love school. I always loved it as a child, and I love how much fun the kids have at school and that they are coming home excitedly telling me all about the things they've learned...But, this year, Kindergarten, has made me feel like a drill sergeant! No fun! It feels like the moment the kids come downstairs in the morning it begins...
"Eat your breakfast!", "Hurry up!", "No talking just eating!", "We are going to be late!", "Did you brush your teeth?", "Please just get dressed!".
It's essentially an hour on nearly non stop nagging in order to get us out the door. Nagging is no fun for the naggy or the nagger and because of it and our rushing around inevitably we end up walking out of the house with Henry in meltdown mode because something didn't go exactly has he wanted it to go.
More often than not, I am the mother who is walking down the street with a child who is crying on the way to or from dropping Violet off at school. The other day I sat here for 15 minutes on the way home waiting for Henry to decide that he was ready to keep walking...
Our morning routine has been really not much fun these past few weeks. Something needs to change...
I have been somewhat resistant to sticker charts, I don't know why really, I guess I am just doubtful that they work. But, then again, all kids love stickers and like to be rewarded for doing good things, right? So I thought we'd give it a try. If there is a visual aid and a simple reward (a sticker) for doing our morning time activities then maybe they will become more like fun things to do and be completed in a more timely fashion.
Yesterday I made this handy dandy chart. (Please excuse my simplistic chalk drawings.)
And today we tried it for the first time. Each child gets a sticker to put on the chart after each task is completed.
Success! For today anyway. We made it through our entire morning with no nagging (a few reminders, but not of the nagging variety), no crying or whining and we made it out of the house on time and to school with plenty of time to spare!
High fives all around!
And, for walking all the way to school and back without any tantrums Henry got a bonus sticker...
Fingers crossed that the novelty doesn't wear off too quickly and that it keeps working!
Oh, and if you are at all interested in my little handy dandy chart here is a version with my little drawings for you to print yourself and here is the verson without the drawings.
Enjoy. Have a great day.
